“Thomas Edison failed more than 1000 times while trying to invent the light-bulb! Every-time he failed, he declared that he found another way to NOT invent the light-bulb.”
Are you screwing yourself over?
Who here has self-sabotaged before? Raise your hand and join the club! Why do we do this? Well, I think that's a great question to ask because it seems quite bizarre that we would sabotage ourselves from getting what we want! We're peculiar beings, aren't we?
Self-sabotage is an interesting phenomena. Especially because I don't think the body wants to self-destruct. As a matter of fact, I think it could be quite the opposite! What if self-sabotage was our own body trying to protect us from ourselves and it had nothing to do with screwing ourselves over other than the perception of such by the inability of our conscious minds to understand what's up? How could this be?
What if we've established an IDENTITY for ourselves in our minds (built upon the foundation of our beliefs and values - particularly when we were very young between the ages of 0 to 7), and that every time we tried to do something new (something outside of our pre-established identity), our ego hits the emergency brakes to STOP change (venturing to the unknown) to keep us in the familiar (the known)? Could this be possible? It might just be.
It’s the classic case of YOU vs YOU! We truly are our own worst enemies (that is in the sense of protecting ourselves from potential future danger). What I mean is that while we might want to improve our finances, grow our businesses, get into a relationship, etc, a PART of us that is rooted in the known and the familiar does NOT want us to venture into these potentially dire parts (ESPECIALLY if we've tried to venture into new territory before and got burned).
With that potentially being the case, the next question that arises is how do we break the pattern? Well, perhaps it's about first accessing the power of AWARENESS! What does that mean? It means that in order to stop an old dis-empowering pattern, you first have to become AWARE of the pattern. While this might seem like an obvious or stupid statement, it really isn't. Most of us are detached and numb to our patterns and habits. If you can't feel and see them, you can't notice them. And if you can't notice them, you can't change them, i.e. you’ll stay STUCK in the known that your EGO loves! It means safe, it means comfortable, and it means cozy (aka SURVIVAL!)
So becoming aware of these negative self-sabotage rituals is the first step (but it isn’t the whole pie!)
I'd like to invite you right now to ask yourself a question: What is it that you want that you don't allow yourself to have? How do you self-sabotage? Powerful questions, aren't they? Having some awareness and then going a little deeper is powerful. The more layers you peel, the more awareness you bring to the situation (and therefore increase the probability of real change!)
As they say, the truth will set you free.
Next, after the awareness part, we need to implement step 2: a plan. So how do we outsmart ourselves? That's a tall order.
I'd like to invite you to consider that the answer is COURAGE! What is courage? Being freaking afraid, but taking action anyways! The fact of the matter is that everything you want is on the other side of fear lurking in the gardens of the unknown. So really, there's no other way about it other than learning to dance with the devil (versus hiding from it). The band-aid coming off is going to sting, so you just gotta rip it off and jump in!
And here's the not so positive news (at first glance): you might go up against the joker and lose, but if your intent is PURE and you decide that YOU'LL NEVER GIVE UP, as long as you keep smashing against the wall, YOU WILL BREAK THROUGH!
And how do you become more courageous? You practice. Over and over and over and over. You just keep trying (and stay committed) no matter what! It's like building a muscle! You have go to the gym over and over and over to break things down (break down that muscle tissue) to then rebuild it (stronger and bigger).
Now of course, if you're running East looking for a sunset, I don't care how positive you are, you’re not going to get to where you want to go. Intention and commitment are powerful, but you need the right strategy!
They say that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. Sometimes, we just don't have the right mechanics to get from where we are to where we want to be! So, make sure you have the correct action plan (and if you happen to encounter the wrong one over and over, that's great because you've figured out what doesn't work, which will help you figure out what works).
Thomas Edison failed more than 1000 times while trying to invent the light-bulb! Every-time he failed, he declared that he found another way to NOT invent the light-bulb, i.e. bringing him one step closer TO inventing the light-bulb. Sometimes you have to venture to the wrong place to find the right one! There are no failures–there are only learning experiences. But these are only learning experiences if we pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and ELECT to see them as POSITIVE LEARNING EXPERIENCES.
1) Become aware of your dysfunctional patterns
2) Go deep with this awareness and try to understand how your self-sabotage has been serving you, i.e. protecting you from the unknown where you could crash and burn!
3) Know what you want
4) Have the courage to pursue what you want (even if it's scary as heck)
5) Stay committed (keep going no matter what)
6) And of course, have the right PLAN!
And that's all she wrote.
PS: Please share your thoughts down below! I'd love to hear about your self-sabotage or any of your general responses to the concept of self-sabotage (or anything on your mind for that matter!) Let's discuss in a conscious conversation!